Understanding the Pain

Cold windy weather is the ultimate enemy when you suffer from Trigeminal Neuralgia

Poets and novelists love to portray the beauty of a soft gently breeze, or a crisp, fresh and frosty spring morning. Well let me tell you, as a sufferer of Trigeminal Neuralgia, those soft breezes and frosty mornings are complete and utter hell. Every time the wind touches my face, I get a severe jolt of pain that makes me want to scream aloud. Going for a walk is completely out of the question, even going outside for a few minutes, takes some preparation.

Summer is on it's way, and hopefully the warmer weather will help my symptoms.

This post is more for the families and friends of TN sufferers. Trigeminal Neuralgia is such a debilitating condition, but because our pain rarely shows on the outside, it is difficult to understand. If someone has a broken arm or a leg, they get a cast on. Their pain is visible. TN is a neurological condition. The nerves jolt and spasm inside the head and it makes simple tasks like washing teeth, applying make-up and even washing hair difficult. A soft breeze to you, feels like millions of sharp knives stabbing the left side of my face, with the occasional electric shock to keep things interestingly nasty.

Just because someone's pain is seemingly invisible, does not make it any less. In fact, anyone with nerve pain will tell you the pain that you can't see is the worst. We all know that if you break a leg, it will hurt for a time, but it will heal. Nerve pain is not like that.

Don't judge someone on how they seem from the outside. Think about what it is like living in their bodies. Have some compassion, and if you don't understand their pain, a simple internet search will tell you all you need to know. I can tell you that I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy.

It is difficult for families and friends of those afflicted with Trigeminal Neuralgia, as I know that they feel powerless. The best thing that you can do for someone living with chronic pain, is listen. That's all that's needed. Work, college and a normal life isn't always possible when  you live with chronic pain, so bear that in mind. When your friend tells you that they can't go to work or out for a drink because of pain, don't laugh it off and call them lazy. That is insensitive, insulting and completely untrue.

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Panic Attacks and Chronic Pain

Overwhelming sadness is threatening to engulf me every moment of every day. 

Pain is ridiculous, and it is so powerful that it literally brings me to my knees. Trigeminal Neuralgia is nasty, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. The severity of my pain is impossible to express, but I only have this condition 2 years. What will the pain be like next year? Or the years to come?

The panic takes hold and I am paralysed for a while. I have pain all the time, but when a bad "attack" comes, I can sense it. The knowledge that horrific pain is only moments away is terrifying, and I am powerless to stop it! I am trying constantly to calm down a little, and meditation is working for me. I go to my bedroom and light a candle. I sit down on the floor and try and empty my mind which is a really hard thing to do. When I am in the midst of a really bad panic attack I focus on the animals on my wall. I have put up loads of pictures of my favourite animals, because I need something positive to focus on. My family are on another wall, and even if I am alone, I don't feel it. 

The panic that the pain brings is almost as bad as the pain itself, and it is something that is commonly overlooked. We are given a cocktail of medication to try and combat the pain, but what about our mental health? I am beating it, but it's a daily battle.

With all the work that I need to do to simply function, it's a wonder that I am able to get dressed in the morning. I have also learned to give myself a break. I was so hard on myself, I need to cut myself some slack. 

Panic attacks are no joke and they can be so debilitating. There are so many reasons for them and they cannot be overlooked or ignored. You can't "snap out of it," that is the worst thing to say to someone.  I am stubborn and I choose not to go and see someone about them yet, but if they get any worse I will. There is no shame in seeking help. We all need help sometimes, and that is another lesson I have learned. There are fantastic support groups out there to reach out to. 

Dealing with chronic pain is a full time job, and if our mental health is hurting, that is overtime without any pay or benefits. 

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