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Getting Attached

On Wednesday, I'm going to talk a little about a huge concept in the psychological literature: attachment. It's a construct that encompasses the bond between caregiver and child. But there's another, related body of research, one that explores the nature of adult romantic relationships. That's the one I'm going to focus on this week.

But first! Let's get you guys thinking about this stuff. Two ways to do this: the quick and dirty, or the more in-depth.

If you want more in-depth, go here and take the quiz (I did it, and it took me about 5 minutes to do it and read the results).

If you're short on time, just read the paragraphs below and think about which one fits you (or, since most of you are writers, you can think about a character of yours):

1. I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others; I find it difficult to trust them completely, difficult to allow myself to depend on them. I am nervous when anyone gets too close, and often, others want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being.
2. I find it relatively easy to get close to others and am comfortable depending on them and having them depend on me. I don't worry about being abandoned or about someone getting too close to me.
3. I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that my partner doesn't really love me or won't want to stay with me. I want to get very close to my partner, and this sometimes scares people away.*

And that's it! More on Wednesday. But if you're craving more brain food for today, go check out Lydia's Medical Monday post, and Laura's Mental Health Monday post!

*These questions come from Hazan & Shaver, 1987

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Alright GCSE term

Oh well hello run up to GCSEs...GO THE EFF AWAY. Do I really need good GCSE results to become a writer? Surely THESE can be my results? People recommending me and asking me to work for them can be my results? I don't need letters on a piece of paper for proof that I am capable of working, especially for what I want to do in life. I don't need a list of subjects I hate to have a letter next to them, and that letter expressing how good I am in that subject. No. That letter will signify if I LIKE that subject. Not how good I am in it. I know that I am smart and other people know I'm smart, so why bother with all the stress and work just for some letters? "These results will affect your WHOLE LIFE and employers will look at these results and that A* instead of an A could determine whether you get a job!" ....No it won't! Maybe it will show what I like/dislike and what I probably excel in, but to be honest the way I present myself at an interview, my experience and personality will determine more if I get a desired job? Am I right?

RANT OVER. Today was 'back to school' day. *sob* Getting up at 7am hurt me inside. Plus it was chucking it down outside, cheers for that mother nature. Mum said she'd give us a lift though, win. *minutes tick by* "MUM we need to go!" "Okay Matt have you got everything?" "....I haven't done my PE kit!" I'd like to point out that is was 8.10am and school starts at 8.25am. Finally we left but MUm decided to stop off at the co-op to get some bean sprouts (?) so by the time we got near the school, the traffic was crazy (8.20am) NICE ONE. What a marvellous day this was going to be. I evidently got into form late, oh well, dripping wet as we ended up jumping out of the car on the main road and running the rest of the way. God I looked hot.

Physics. My teacher didn't do himself any favours by turning up on the first day back to a gaggle of rowdy year 11s with a plaster slapped across his clearly swollen nose. Nadia and Ronan are in my science classes, therefore I had to turn round and silently laugh hysterically at them about this incident. Oh we're so mean, but I HATE the man therefore I don't care. The rumours flew round the class in seconds. "He probably just fell over a shoe." "No, he fell down the stairs." the majority thought. "His chinese mum hit him with her handbag" Was my personal favourite.

He is incredibly strange is he. We were meant to be doing a presentation on stars on the laptops today, so we went on Google maps and looked up the Eastenders set instead. He came over a bit later, looked down at Nadia's lap and went "I don't think you've got the right equipment." That was it for me. I quick delved under the table because I 'dropped my pen' and came up for air when he left, face streaming with tears for laughing so much. "'You've not got the right equipment'? Well I don't have a penis sir, I'm pretty sure I have a very womanly vagina." I LOVE NADIA.

The jokes kept rolling on in Biology. We somehow got onto the topic of when you're 'on', what if when your egg comes out, it was an actual sized egg...Yes, we are 16 year olds in year 11, oh so mature. Other people think of these things though...don't they...no?...right then. Then Ronan goes "Okay so would you rather be 'on' and have normal bits of pain for a week, or, have an actual egg come out your vajayjay and be in excrutiating pain for 20mins?" "20MINS?! IT TAKES 20MINS?!" Nadia seemed in real shock at this. "I don't bloody know I haven't asked a chicken how long it takes them to squeeze an egg out, I'm guesstimating!" Oh God that might not seem hilarious but at the time we were in FITS and nearly on the 'being sent out' list. Rebels.

The womanly parts conversation carried out throughout the whole day, diverting into Embaressing Bodies and whatnot. But I am NOT going into what talk we had about that.

Something amazingly wierd happened earlier. We were eating dinner and Dad showed me an article in the paper about 'Birthday Numbers'. Somehow they had come up with some sort of way of calculating 'your' number, but using your birthday. My Dad worked out mine. My number is 4. Now look at what it says but I guide your focus to the last sentence. Oh. Em. Eff. Gee. X

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How to cope with panic attacks panic disorder

1. Take your anxiety with you..........feel those sensations, knowing they are NOT a disease that will harm you/kill you. Learn to rebreathe into a paper bag, because most of the dizzy/light headed sensations are because of oxygen/carbon dioxide imbalance....rebreathing into a paper bag helps this or breathing slowly in through your nose and out through your mouth.

2. Eat small regular meals, every 2/3 hrs. When we dont eat for a while, sugar levels are effected, and eventually adrenaline is released...causing more panic.

3. Get into a bedtime routine of...no caffine after 6pm, a warm bath, good book, bedroom nice temperature, and use music on low to help you drift off.

4. Try aromatherapy oils such as Lavender, or Neroli. A few drops in your palms, rub together, inhale. Use also as a massage in olive oil.

5. Read read read......by fully understanding panic and anxiety, you will be able to come to terms with it. Knowledge is the key.

6. DONT STOP going out to work or out socially. Your panic WANTS to control you, dont let it. Feel it, but go about your day.

7. See your GP, because medication can be of great help. Try counselling through the NHS or privately. Bach rescue remedy helps some people.

8. Talk to family and friends or post on panic forums to other sufferers.

9. Never give up.

10. Dont drink too much alcohol, it never helps anxiety.

11. Get some fresh air everyday, half an hour is fine.


This was taken from a forum I read on http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/ posted by a 'Paula Lynne' I found this most useful& hope it will also help you too.

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