Tampilkan postingan dengan label Getting. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label Getting. Tampilkan semua postingan

Selasa, 22 Agustus 2017

Getting Attached


On Wednesday, I'm going to talk a little about a huge concept in the psychological literature: attachment. It's a construct that encompasses the bond between caregiver and child. But there's another, related body of research, one that explores the nature of adult romantic relationships. That's the one I'm going to focus on this week.

But first! Let's get you guys thinking about this stuff. Two ways to do this: the quick and dirty, or the more in-depth.

If you want more in-depth, go here and take the quiz (I did it, and it took me about 5 minutes to do it and read the results).

If you're short on time, just read the paragraphs below and think about which one fits you (or, since most of you are writers, you can think about a character of yours):
  1. I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others; I find it difficult to trust them completely, difficult to allow myself to depend on them. I am nervous when anyone gets too close, and often, others want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being.
  2. I find it relatively easy to get close to others and am comfortable depending on them and having them depend on me. I don't worry about being abandoned or about someone getting too close to me.
  3. I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that my partner doesn't really love me or won't want to stay with me. I want to get very close to my partner, and this sometimes scares people away.*
And that's it! More on Wednesday. But if you're craving more brain food for today, go check out Lydia's Medical Monday post, and Laura's Mental Health Monday post!
*These questions come from Hazan & Shaver, 1987

Senin, 29 Mei 2017

Getting to Know More about Dementia


"It wasn't until 1995 that I first noticed that Peter was acting strangely. I thought he wasn't interested in his business any more. He appointed a manager and took early retirement at the age of 54. From then on, he became a different person…” These are the words of a woman whose husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease- the most common type of dementia. To read the full story and get to know the every day struggles of people who suffer from dementia and their loved ones.



Dementia is a general term to describe symptoms involving difficulties with cognitive functions such as memory, language, reasoning, planning, recognizing, or identifying people or objects.

Symptoms of dementia

 

Based on the website for medical news today, the most common symptoms of dementia are:
  • Frequent and progressive memory loss. People with dementia begin to forget more and more, and the most recent events seem to be forgotten most quickly. Occasionally though, clear "pockets of memory" are still present, and these are usually triggered by familiar faces, smells, touches, songs, or rituals.
  • Language difficulties: People with dementia are often unable to understand instructions or to follow the logic of moderately complex sentences. He or she may not understand his or her own sentences, and have difficulty forming thoughts into words. Occasionally, everyone has trouble finding the right word, but a person with dementia often forgets simple words or substitutes unusual words, making speech or writing hard to understand.
  • Confusion: This behavior causes a person with dementia to become "estranged" from others and to be unpredictable in interactions. Confusion can also occur "acutely", that is, suddenly and limited in time (for example, triggered by a hospital stay). In addition to this general confusion, people with dementia are disoriented in time and place. They often forget the current time and get lost in a familiar environment.
  • Inability to perform familiar tasks. People with dementia often find it hard to complete everyday tasks that are so familiar we usually do not think about how to do them. In particular, people with dementia have great problems carrying out activities in the proper sequence. For instance, they may not know in what order to put on their clothes.
  • Difficulty with abstract thinking. People with dementia often show unusual difficulty performing mental tasks. For instance, planning tasks, making decisions, or organizing projects become more and more difficult. They also lose the ability to make simple monetary transactions such as paying a bill.
  • Misplacing belongings. Anyone can temporarily misplace his/her wallet or keys. A person with dementia may put things in unusual places such as an iron in the fridge or a wristwatch in the sugar bowl.
  • Rapid mood swings: People with dementia become extremely moody, switching between emotions within a matter of seconds for no apparent reason. Alternatively, a person with dementia may show less emotion than s/he used to do previously.
  • Behavioural changes: A person with dementia may seem different from his/her usual self in ways that are difficult to identify or explain. A person may become suspicious, irritable, depressed, apathetic, anxious, or agitated, especially in situations where memory problems are causing difficulties.
  • Apathy/ lack of initiative: A person with dementia may become very passive, sitting in front of the television for hours, sleeping more than usual, or appear to lose interest in hobbies.
While there are some common symptoms of dementia, it is important to remember that everyone is unique. Some people may show all of these symptoms, while other may only exhibit some of them, but to a greater extent.

Progression of Dementia through its three stages

 Mild or Early-Stage dementia

Dementia usually begins gradually with very minor changes in the person's abilities or behaviour. In this phase, such signs are often attributed to stress or bereavement or, in older people, to the normal process of aging. Mostly, one only realizes by looking back that these signs marked the beginning of dementia. During the early phase of dementia, the person may:
  • Become more forgetful of details of recent events
  • Be more likely to repeat themselves or lose the thread of a conversation
  • Be slower to grasp complex ideas and take longer to complete routine jobs
  • Have difficulty handling money
  • Show poor judgement and make poor decisions
  • Blame others for 'stealing' lost items
  • Lose interest in hobbies or activities
  • Be unwilling to try new things
  • Be unable to adapt to change
  • Become more self-centered and less concerned with others and their feelings
  • Be more irritable or upset if they fail at something
  • Appear more apathetic, with less sparkle

Moderate or mid- stage Dementia

As dementia progresses, the changes become more marked and disabling.
People with dementia slowly move from forgetfulness into confusion. The person lives more and more in his/her own, dreamlike world in which present and past blend together and in which the rules and structures of the 'old world' - what is right, what is important - lose importance. At this stage people with dementia increasingly see themselves not as confused in a logical environment, but as oriented in a very unfamiliar environment.

During the moderate phase of dementia, the person may:
  • Be increasingly forgetful of recent events. Memory for the distant past seems better, but some details may be forgotten or confused
  • Repeat the same question or phrase over and over
  • Be confused regarding time and place
  • Become lost if away from familiar surroundings
  • Forget names of family or friends
  • Fail to recognize people or confuse them with others
  • Forget saucepans and kettles on the stove. May leave gas unlit
  • Wander around streets, perhaps at night, sometimes becoming lost
  • Behave inappropriately - for example, going outdoors in their nightwear
  • See or hear things that are not there (hallucinations)
  • Become very repetitive
  • Be neglectful of hygiene or eating
  • Become angry, upset or distressed through frustration
Some people at this stage become very easily upset, angry or aggressive, perhaps owing to frustration, or they may become overly attached to a certain person.
At this moderate stage, the person will need more support to help them manage their day-to-day living. They may need frequent reminders or help to eat, wash, dress and use the toilet.

Severe or Late-Stage dementia 

At this stage, a person with dementia becomes severely disabled and will need even more help, gradually becoming totally dependent on others for nursing care.

Loss of memory may be almost complete, with the person unable to recognize familiar objects or surroundings or even those closest to them, although there may be sudden flashes of recognition. Patients are also less able to establish and maintain eye contact and appear to see through people. They may even stop recognizing themselves in the mirror.
Access to their 'bubble'-like world in which they hide and retreat becomes more difficult as language deteriorates. Repetitive movements might emerge, like rocking, undressing, or walking up and down.
Although they can't speak anymore, they are sometimes able to sing hymns and say prayers (automatism).

At this stage, the person may:
  • Be unable to remember - for even a few minutes - that they have had, for example, a meal
  • Gradually lose their ability to understand or use speech
  • Be incontinent
  • Show no recognition of friends and family
  • Need help with washing, bathing, using the toilet or dressing
  • Show difficulty in eating and sometimes swallowing
  • Fail to recognize everyday objects
  • Be disturbed at night
  • Be restless, sometimes looking for a long dead relative
  • Be distressed and aggressive, especially when feeling threatened or closed in
  • Become increasingly physically weak, starting to shuffle or walk unsteadily, eventually becoming confined to a wheelchair
  • Have uncontrolled movements
Eventually, immobility will become permanent and, in the final weeks or months, the person will be bedridden.

References

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/142214.php
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/dementia-guide/Pages/living-with-dementia-real-story.aspx


Selasa, 09 Mei 2017

Getting Into Character


I was supposed to post this last week, but I figure better late than never. This month's Sisterhood of the Traveling Blog question was posed by yours truly:

How do you develop your characters? Do you flesh out the details before (like writing as that character, writing backstory, or filling out a questionnaire about their preferences and history) or invent as you go?

Now, first, Deb Salisbury is posting today--and today is her day to post, so go over to her blog and see her answer to this! Laura posted her answer at the beginning of this month, and Lydia posted hers two weeks ago.

As for me:

I am not a pantster. I tend to outline or at least write out a lot of notes before I start a project. I think of it as a gearing-up phase, sort of like on a rollercoaster--you have that series of meh ups-and-downs before you start up the steepest hill to get to the heart-stopping downhill. It's a kind of critical mass, like I have to build a bit before I start writing in earnest. Once I do, I write fast, sometimes thousands of words per day, and am often finished with the book within 10-12 weeks.

Interestingly enough, though, my gearing-up process doesn't include a lot in the way of character development. It's incidental for me. That doesn't mean it's not important! It's just ... I don't do anything like writing journals from the characters' points of view or completing inventories of their preferences. A lot of those details emerge as I write the actual story.

What I do accomplish in the pre-writing phase: establishing a few core traits, including strengths and weaknesses. My characters have to be consistent, even when they're going to radically change over the course of the story-arc. I try to keep character temperament firmly in mind as I write, and if we're talking the POV character(s), then I want the prose to reflect it, which means I have to understand it ahead of time.

So I guess my approach is:
  • I get the core traits in mind ahead of time, plus some history and background.
  • I don't bother with the detail stuff, including preferences, habits, mannerisms, and pet peeves, until I'm actually writing the story, because I know it will evolve organically as part of the story-creation process.
Now that I think about it, this character development process mirrors human development. We each come into the world, already wired up with a temperament. But it is only through our experiences--our daily walk through our own life stories--that we discover our preferences, pick up mannerisms, and develop our patterns of communication and ways of relating to other people. Go figure.

How about you? What's your process?

Sabtu, 28 Januari 2017

Getting Rid Of Fear


There are several things I have found are effective in getting rid of fear - for me anyway.

Ironically, the biggest one is to not actually feel so uncomfortable with it and fear it so much.

If I let myself be okay with feeling anxious it is easier to stop feeling so panicked!

I find that it is when I start in with that old mindtape of what a wimpy person I am , how I am wasting my life being afraid constantly, how others are braver and better than me, how I am failing again because I am probably going to have another panic attack that things go straight downhill fast!

Part of getting rid of fear is actually accepting fear.

Ok, so I feel afraid now and even often - it's not such a big deal - and it will go away eventually too.

And if I don't feel like its the end of the world cause I am in panic mode again, it doesn't seem to have such a strong hold on me.

Getting rid of fear is something that seems to automatically happen when I let myself just let go and trust myself and the world around me. I will be ok no matter what happens.