My Side Of Paradise

I have always had a love for horses. A connection, an awe, an intense wonder.

I love to just sit and watch them in the pasture grazing and swishing their tails. I love the sound of their hooves pounding on the grass as they run and buck as a storm rolls in.

The way they interact with each other, their intelligence, and the unique character each one has.

The curve of their necks and the set of their clean jawlines, flowing manes and flaring nostrils, and beautiful deep eyes.

But they are also bold, and strong, and spirited and sometimes easily frightened.

Many people say that horses are adept at mirroring who we are and how we are feeling at a particular moment. I am finding that I am learning to use this as a means of understanding my own fears and anxiety.

These beautiful creatures are helping me to gain emotional control and to confront and work through my fears, anxiety and panic.

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TN Monster

Trigeminal Neuralgia is an absolute monstrous condition. The pain is refusing to abate, the burning won't cool and as for the stabbing? The pain is inhuman. It's almost like my body has been invaded by a supernatural entity and I am constantly fighting to regain control. That may sound like possession, but believe me it is what it feels like.

It is so easy to loose yourself in the pain, and I have been on the verge of that many times. Simple tasks like washing teeth, brushing hair and applying moisturiser hurts like hell and it starts off these demonic attacks. Everyone with TN knows about these triggers. There are many more, going outside can be overwhelming, especially if there is a breeze, even a light one.

Basics everyday activities can become impossible tasks if you allow them too. There are days when moping around in pj's seems like the only option, and I will honestly say that sometimes the pain gets so bad that getting out of bed can be a challenge.

We cannot let this beat us. It is the hardest possible thing to get out of bed some days, but we must try. Trigeminal Neuralgia is a condition, it doesn't define us.

One way that I cope is by thinking of these attacks as an invasion I must fight. I am too stubborn to let this monster win and defeat me. I know that Trigeminal Neuralgia will never leave me, but it might go away for a while.

Every time I wear make-up, do my hair and have the courage to leave the house, I take it as a small victory, and everyone with TN should! Today is one of those days. 

TN is a monster, and it can invade our bodies, but it sure as hell can't take our souls.

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Dr Allens Book for Therapists about Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder Now Available in Paperback

Now available in paperback at http://www.amazon.com/Psychotherapy-Borderline-Patients-Integrated-Approach/dp/1138012750/ref=mt_paperback?_encoding=UTF8&me=