Always Make The Active Choice

The other day, I was talking with a colleague of mine. We were discussing a tough decision one of our staff had made, and I said something like, "Maybe I should reach out to her. I mean, I don't want to bother her, but--"

And my colleague said, "Always make the active choice."

Now, I may be a helping professional, but I'm also very introverted and shy by nature. Sometimes, in my personal interactions, I let things lie rather than reaching out, because, when I think of reaching out, all these thoughts attack me at once: What if she doesn't want you to call her? What if she just wants to be left alone? What if you say the wrong thing? What if it doesn't matter anyway? Probably a lot of other people are offering their support, so yours doesn't really matter...

Yeah, I do that. I admit it. I make those excuses. And I was really struck by my colleague's words, and how right she was. She was basically saying, "Don't sit back. Don't let it ride. Reach out and let her know you're thinking about her." She was saying the "risk" of reaching out is completely overwhelmed by the potential benefits. And the risk of taking the passive road? That person would never have known she was on my mind. She might have assumed I didn't care. That she didn't mean that much to me. The opposite is true, but how could she have known that?

For some of you, reaching out might come naturally. You might do this as automatically as breathing. But for me, it takes thought and effort, and that's just the way I'm wired. That's no excuse, though. I should make the active choice more often.

I'm going to try to do that.

How about you? Do you always make the active choice? Do you step outside of yourself and any fears of awkwardness, and just let someone know you're thinking about them? Is this easy for you, or are you more like me, in that you need to work at it a little bit?

And, because I'm just so very excited: please go visit Mundie Moms on Sunday (May 27) to see the cover of SANCTUM! I'll also be answering a few questions about the story, and I hope you'll stop by and let me know what you think. It should be up by late morning CST.